Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
