my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize