Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
