Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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