Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I party with great urgency now.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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