He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize