That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
