I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
