If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
