So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
