your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
