Cold hands, warm shart.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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