New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
