hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
