PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
