I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
