So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
