The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
