Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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