Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Well I just put wine in my tea
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
