the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
