we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm at about main and main street
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize