are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
