Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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