PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
