apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
