It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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