I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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