If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
