It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
