Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize
