Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
