This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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