She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
