um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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