If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
