Me. At least after what I've been through.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
