if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
