i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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