I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
