its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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