I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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