Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
