I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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