Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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