he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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