Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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