if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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