It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
