Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
