gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
