I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
