but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
