I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize