Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I have aggressive nipples.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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