Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize