Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
