Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
