Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
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