chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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