I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
home. puking in laundry basket.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
