Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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