I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
