Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
