Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Holy shit dude........stairs
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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