apparently the secret to your success is patron
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
