Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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