Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
