I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
